I need dressing-up advice for my big bust

You will need good underpinnings, strategic shapes and a healthy dose of confidence

“Everyday dressing around my DD+ bustline is hard enough. But with holiday parties coming up, I’m having a hard time trying to find things that fit, and are flattering. Any ideas for styles?”

Suzie, Montreal

First of all, Suzie, I empathize fully. My own trajectory through the alphabet of bra sizes went from -A in my 20s to DD+ by my mid-40s, despite the fact my other measurements stayed the same. It has been puzzling and disorienting, as my idea of what kind of clothes look good on me remains frozen in the A zone. As for party dressing, if I go for a covered-up look, my chest looks like some kind of formidable ship’s prow. If I go revealing, my cleavage looks like a canyon down which I’m inviting people to drop their canapés.

Of course, the best place to start is by looking at what’s underneath. Did you, Suzie, like me, spend the pandemic ordering endless no-underwire bras supposedly made for fuller-busted women, only to hate every single one of them? Seriously, there ought to be a special tax line write-off for that colossal waste of money. But it is because of all that experience that I found the exact right expert to solve your dilemma. Calgary-born Helena Kaylin is now based in Los Angeles, where she launched her own bra company, Mindd Bra, for women who are DD+. She’s part of the underserved demographic herself, and has vowed to become an advocate for larger breasted women everywhere.

Kaylin’s story might best be described as locomotives to lingerie: out of school, she went to work for a Canadian railroad company, but her passion was for lingerie. That lead her to stints in bra innovation and product creation at Victoria’s Secret, Lululemon, UnderArmour and Uniqlo. At an early job, she took a trip with corporate brass to a major N.Y.C. outpost to find just two DD+ options on the sales floor.

Her bra line, launched in 2020, benefits from all of her innovation experience: In fact, she says her range of five sizes accommodates 65 traditional sizes. There are different styles, including a plunge version perfect for holiday wear.

I asked Kaylin if the breast shape we all most desire has changed. She said yes, pointing to the fact that her own bras now hang at Victoria’s Secret, once ground zero of the “push-up bra” along with all the now-defunct Angels imagery. Body diversity is in. So is comfort. “Pain — from underwires, from back straps, from shoulder straps — isn’t acceptable anymore.”

Here are my two cents: Her bras are fully supportive but still lacy and sexy, and so comfortable you feel like you aren’t wearing anything. They act like minimizers with lightweight compression that lifts things up, but they still give you a natural shape. As in: you can wear a blouse, and the buttons close, but you can still show a respectable hint of cleavage in the plunge style. Miraculous.

I asked Kaylin how to approach holiday dressing, and refreshingly, she didn’t talk about stuff you can’t wear with larger breasts. Instead, she talked about attitude and confidence, once you decide how much skin to show off.

“Only you can decide that!” she says.

“You don’t want to spend the night fidgeting and adjusting your neckline.”

Kaylin disagrees with all the old “rules” regarding avoiding large prints, or sequins or plunging necklines. To get ideas, she fills her own Pinterest board with inspirational stars such as Ashley Graham, Kate Upton, Lauren Sanchez and Kate Winslet. “I love seeing how they put together looks and dress for their body type,” she says.

This year, she’s excited by the festive dressing possibilities.

“The shapes and silhouettes this holiday are ample, pardon the pun.” First up, she swears by a great wrap dress, “This classic silhouette is one of the most playful and fun,” she says. “There are many sequined choices this sea- son, and if you want to sparkle, I recommend one with draped sequined fabric. The sequins lay flat on the fabric and skim your curves.” Be sure to find a style that gathers, she says, to accentuate your waist.

Next up is the one-shoulder silhouette.

Didn’t think you could ever wear a one-shoulder with a larger bus- tline? Does Kaylin have a great hack for you. She extends one strap of her bra, slips it over her head and voila, an instant one-shouldered bra with all the same support. I tried this with a Mindd bra, and it works, so check to see how much extension leeway you get out of your own bra straps.

“The one-shoulder is perfect if you don’t want to show off too much cleavage, but still want a beautiful neckline.” The market is full of one-shoulder dresses, or you could try a one-shouldered top, tank or bodysuit to pair with the season’s great flowy wide-legged pants.