Tourney honours Waterloo woman who ‘fell through the cracks’

Event aims to improve awareness of mental health

WARNING: This article contains details about the struggles associated with mental health and may be upsetting to some readers.

Mike and Fiona Roth still have a lot of questions about their daughter’s death earlier this year, but there’s one thing they’re certain of — it wasn’t something she wanted.

Obituaries often ignore this fact when people succumb to “a disease of mental illness” as Kaitlyn did, they say.

“You look to the bottom and see where the donations go, and we didn’t want to do just that,” said Mike.

“We wanted to say what it was, because it is a disease — it’s an illness,” he said. “Kaitlyn didn’t want this. She was actually asking for help and trying to get better, but, unfortunately, there’s long waitlists and the programs weren’t there.”

The inaugural Kaitlyn Roth Tournament of Hope held last Friday and Saturday at Bluevale Collegiate Institute included eight basketball teams consisting of120 participants and aims to change that narrative.

The Roths said they consulted organizers of the Jacob Ranton Memorial Basketball Tournament, held every year at Waterloo Collegiate Institute, and decided to create a similar event with girls’ teams in memory of Kaitlyn, who played for her high school team as well as the Wildhawks rep team.

Mental-health awareness was at the forefront during the week leading up to the event, with students and staff discussing compassion and peer-led supports, and sporting T-shirts with the phrase “Tomorrow Needs You” printed on the back.

For the Roths, including Kaitlyn’s siblings Molly, 19, and Michael, 16, knowing they can make a difference in the lives of others in the future has been comforting and has helped the healing process, Fiona said.

“I’m happy our family was able to raise more awareness about mental health to help more Kaitlyns out there,” said her sister Molly.

By connecting with the broader community, they’ve realized just how many high-functioning people have minds that are a battleground like Kaitlyn’s. Though she dealt with some anxiety in high school, it never impacted her abilities, her mother said.

Described as a go-getter who aspired to do the best she could in everything she did, Kaitlyn was involved in student council, choirs, band, basketball, rugby and the swim team, and took part in leadership conferences and mission work with her church. She aspired to pursue a career working with children with special needs and was in her third year at the University of Waterloo when she died April 28, just shy of her 21st birthday.

Her mental-health struggle began months prior in July 2021, when she lost her “go-getter zest,” her mom said.

When they went to the hospital, Kaitlyn didn’t fit the check-boxes for various programs and treatments.

“It was the crisis model,” she said. “When you’re in the hospital, they say call the crisis line. Then, when you call the crisis line, they say go to the hospital. There’s no services and they just put you on a long wait-list or you don’t qualify for the service.

“The system is broken, and she fell through the cracks.”

Kaitlyn knew where she was and where she wanted to be, her parents contend.

“It was almost like dealing with a bad concussion, like her ability to focus and concentrate was really off,” her mother recalled.

School and work became laborious and she didn’t want to socialize as much.

“She wanted to get better. She wanted to go back to school. ‘I want to be with my friends, I want to get back, but my brain’s not right,’ she’d say.”

“As hard as we tried, there wasn’t any help for her,” according to Mike, who said he and his wife are trying their best to “be better, not bitter,” meeting with local mentalhealth agencies to review how processes and programs can change for the better.

The Roths believe better wraparound and home care supports are required for people like Kaitlyn and they’ve met with the federal minister of mental health and addictions, Dr. Carolyn Bennett, to talk about their concerns. They’re looking forward to a followup.

Regardless of the pressures brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, Fiona, who has worked decades in the children’s mentalhealth sector as a counsellor, pointed out that funding for adult services is significantly lower.

Funds raised by the basketball tournament will go to Carizon Family and Counselling Services for better supports to help bridge the gaps to adulthood for young people who are struggling.

“We want to help other people and bring awareness that no matter if you’re 15, 30 or 90, you should be able get help for mental health. It shouldn’t stop at age 18,” Fiona said.

“We can do this better. We have to do this better,” she said.

“If someone’s brave enough to go to a hospital to say, ‘I’m struggling,’ let’s honour that bravery and give them help right away. That’s what we’re trying to say and that’s what we’re advocating for.”

‘‘ If someone’s brave enough to go to a hospital to say, ‘I’m struggling,’ let’s honour that bravery and give them help right away.

FIONA ROTH TOURNAMENT ORGANIZER